[Princess Peach]
Mother, Father, this is my boyfriend Mario.
Chimes play
[Queen]
Charmed to finally meet your acquaintance, Mario-- oh!, Did a pig sh** out a dead fetus in here?
[Mario]
Sniffs
Oh-ho-ho! I beg-a your forgiveness. I come-a here through the sewer line.
Chimes play
[Princess Peach]
Mario's a plumber.
[King]
So he commutes through human waste?
[Princess Peach]
And he's Italian.
[King]
Oh, okay. Say no more.
Chimes play
Cut to the Royal Living Room, Mario searches for something in a sofa
[Queen]
Did you lose something, Mario?
[Mario]
Hey, hey! I-a found-a one! [Holds up a coin]
[Queen]
Gives sarcastic chuckle
Yes, in OUR sofa.
Mario puts the coin in his pocket
[King]
And there it goes.
Cut to the Royal Dinner Room
[Mario]
So I says, "Aye, paisan, toilet paper and-a paper towels-- They ain't the same thing!" [Laughs]
[Queen]
Sarcastically
Mmm, another clogged toilet story. What a delightful compliment to our mushroom soup.
[Mario]
Mushrooms?! Ay-yi-yi! [Sneezes]
Mario grows bigger
[Princess Peach]
Remind me to bring mushrooms on our honeymoon.
[Mario]
I'm so sorry. I have a few allergies.
Mario slides towards the wall and bumps into a flower
[Mario]
Mama mia! Flowers! [Sneezes]
Mario turns into Fire Mario and starts to sneeze fireballs. One hits the drapes, and one the Queen's dress.
[Queen]
Oh! My drapes! My meat drapes!
[King]
Both equally dusty.
[Mario]
Ay-yi-yi! [Sneezes]
When sneezing, he accidentally bumps into a Koopa shell which bumps into three blocks. We then hear the Game Over music as the castle goes under, then cut to static.