I'm not s**y, but I really want to be
I hear that's normal for my demographic
I don't look good in skirts, and even wedges hurt my feet
And I can't keep a straight face and say 'orgasmic'
Oh, I'm not hip, but I really want to be
All the bands I like you've heard of, and I watch too much TV
And I'm not cute, and I think too hard to be sweet
But not enough to get a real job or converse insightfully -
This is the part where you politely disagree
My virtues are too dull to entertain
But you can always count on me
A nicely balanced budget's not so thrilling
And courtesy's outdated, and sobriety is lame
Reliability is not appealing
But I don't know any other way to be
I love people and I want them to love me
My virtues are vanilla at best, but you can always call on
I'll sing for you, I'll sing for you
I'll be the first one by your side
And the last one to leave
I'll give you everything I've got
I'll get you anything you need
I'm not much to entertain
But you can always call on me
I'm sorry I'm not meaner
I'm sorry I don't bite
I'm sorry I don't break as many hearts as you might like
I'm not hip or cute or spontaneous
And I know I'm such a fool
But I'll love you real good if you'll let me make
A dumb mistake or two. Oh
I'm not s**y, but I'll love you if you let me
My baby took me out one Saturday night
And I could tell he could tell I'm a square
I asked him, 'baby, where are we goin'?'
And he said, 'apparently nowhere.'
He said-a 'you don't bark and you don't bite
So what use have I got for you?'
I said, 'my crimes may not be half so entertaining as yours
But let me tell you baby what I can do
I'll sing for you, I'll sing for you
I'll be the first one by your side
And the last one to leave
I'll give you everything I've got
I'll get you anything you need
I'm not much to entertain
But you can always call on me
Not s**y, no, not sweet, but I'll sing for you if you want me to
Not hip, not cute, not sweet, not even solvent baby
But I love you, oh
I love you, I love you, I love you baby