INT. MARLA STEVENS' OFFICE - DAY
The sound of a toilet flushing. Coming through a door,
adjusting her skirt. MARLA STEVENS enters her impeccable
office. Her intercom interrupts.
MALE ASSISTANT
Ms. Stevens, your financial advisor is
on the line - do you want me to go ahead
and put that through?
MARLA
Well, for Christ's sakes, yeah put him
through. I'm always in for somebody
when it has to do with my money; or don't
you wanna get paid?
MALE ASSISTANT
Umm... yes, I mean...
MARLA
It's a simple question. Do you
want to get paid weekly? Or are
you an intern?
MALE ASSISTANT
Do you want me to put the call through first
or do you want me to answer your question?
MARLA
Oh my god, this isn't Cash Cab! Yes,
put the call through.
MALE ASSISTANT
Sorry, I'm gonna put the call through.
That's what I'm gonna do - I'm gonna put
the call through right now.
She leafs through a stack of memos on her desk. Suddenly,
another voice rings through.
Cut to split screen: BARRY SCHWARTZ is on the line.
BARRY (V.O.)
Marla?
MARLA
This is Ms. Stevens... Barry, I
appreciate the fact that you think
that we know each other well enough to be
on a first name basis. Where
the f** did manners go? I get paid to be
on television to teach people how to live
well and stylishly and this is what I
get?
BARRY (V.O.)
I'm terribly sorry, Ms. Stevens. I just
wanted to let you know that Star magazine
has contacted my office regarding your...
MARLA
Are you asking me permission to do
an interview for Star magazine?
BARRY (V.O.)
No. No. I'm just letting you know that
they're really knocking down the doors.
MARLA
Barry, I'm putting this whole
little prison incident behind me.
A short 2 year sabbatical. Unless you're
talking to me about OK Magazine...
then shut the f** up and
get back to work making me millions off
my collection of hand-painted tablecloths.
Ya got it?
BARRY
You got it.
MARLA
Good. Go.
BARRY
Thank you, h-have a good day.
She hangs up the phone angrily.
EXT. APARTMENT - EVENING
Tawny, Farhonda and Concha sit around a table
TAWNY
Damn, this transitional living sh**
is not for me. When I get my money
I'm gonna get me a high rise,
with a jacuzzi tub, and a
real nice king-size bed with a “duvette”.
FARHONDA
Ooh, I wanna live with you.
TAWNY
Get yo own place. I'ma have a TV
in the bathroom, and a phone by the
toilet.
FARHONDA
Ooh, I once got an eye infection when I
used the phone by the toilet at a hotel
in Vegas. I sued 'em.
TAWNY
b**h, have a phone, or
don't have a phone, but please shut the
f** up. The point is that when we get
our money, we goin' be rollin' in the beef.
(singing)
rollin' in the beef.
FARHONDA
No you mean rollin' in the deep...
TAWNY
No I'm talkin' 'bout rollin' in the beef. Like
prime ribs.
Tawny finally cracks a smile, and it's no wonder she
hides them teeth. They f**ed up!
TAWNY (CONT'D)
Yeah when Marla Stevens cough up our
green, we are gonna be rollin' in
da beef. Whooo it's gonna be good!
I have been waiting patiently - I
lived my life in prison. And that b**h,
she gonna pay us in full
CONCHA
And you know what? No personal checks,
this is a full-cash money transaction only.
Concha sneaks out a cheap bottle of wine and pours a
toast for them in three plastic cups.
FARHONDA
Wait, how you get this in here?
CONCHA
Don't worry about it, alright. Do you
want it or not?
FARHONDA
Hell yeah!
CONCHA
Alright then. Here's to money in the bank
FARHONDA
And fishes in the tank.
TAWNY
And if you don't raise yo gla**,
yo mama p**y stank!
They touch plastic cups and take swigs!
FADE OUT