You seek others affirmations, and disregard your own
Does it come from lack of interaction back at home
It could be, I used to act like i didn't bother me
One trick pony, if I wasn't cracking jokes I was lost
Cool facade, hit everyone with the shrug like "Who cares?"
When deep down things would hold me down deep
Under water and hover above the surface
Screaming "f** you, fight for air."
So I did
It's a process, clawing my way up
Not with colors flying
I'm more so hovering and I'm not tired
Yet I have ambition to do better
To fly higher
Still have issues with speaking in circumferences
Beat around the bush so much
It's like I had a crush on the ex-presidents twins
Some days I felt like I was fighting for my existence
That's unbeknownst to my friends and my kin
But I would do it all the same all over again
Everything I'm not makes me everything I am
People try to connect with me
And I act so aloof, it's not on purpose
Sometimes I just need some space and time alone
Communication wasn't strong growing up at home
I'd rather not spend the evening glued to my phone
Four page text message just to be saved and deleted
Because I'm wondering if I should share everything
Or just keep to myself
I know at times I just want rea**ured and can be demur
I know at times I'm self conscience and feel a bit insecure
But who the hell doesn't, and I'm not afraid to admit
I've had a ton of epiphanies and they've all been terrific
But when you're no longer depressed or upset
What is that
Because that's where I'm at right now