Gonna wipe this crowbar clean
And pry off my face
I'll roll up my sleeves and dig around
Until i find the stains
And shampoo my soiled brains
Old yellow gauze, a rusty scalpel
And some cheap whiskey
The tools for this home remedy
Students stuffed in cla**room pockets
But something's out of place
Words are leaking out his sockets
Words he was supposed to memorize
Better get the compa**, this one needs redirection
Soon they plugged me with ambition
Pulp from textbooks soaked in fiction
I feasted on competition
Congratulations, you're this years champion
Cue the announcer, please tell him what he's won
Letters validate the tests
Numbers to see who's the best
Now I understand that life's just a contest
Black mortarboard, a wooden ruler
And papers marked with A's
The tools that taught me to think straight
Now I don't call out the answers
I'm the host, I ask the questions
Raise your hand, who knows the answer?
Be the first to press your buzzer
Watch my eyes as you call out the answer
See them twinkle as i smile
Watch the scoreboard when you get the answer
Lights will flash and cymbals will crash
Confetti rains down from the sky
So tell him what he's won
A lifetime on the run
Pursuing number one
Red grading pens
Gray chain-link fence
Mental detentions
The tools that left these stains