[Verse 1]
Driving with the angel of death
I pass by your old department
Sniffing up the pills you left
Inside the limousine
Nobody could tell me how far
You said, “We’ll stop to read each tea leaf”
Nobody could tell me how long
Just pacing patiently
[Chorus]
I arrive
In the form of a radical being
You arrive
But the story can never be told
[Refrain]
(It’s harder now to hold you)
[Verse 2]
Sleeping with the angel of death
I still find you in my shadow
Learning how the mirror reflects
I lose myself in you
I was told it wouldn’t be long
“Life’s a basket full of cravings”
Bettеr than the evil you know
Repеat yourself in me
[Chorus]
You arrive
On the hood of your step father’s Lincoln
The surprise
You couldn’t remember the words
I’m on fire
And the guilt’s doing all of the thinking
I’m alive
But it isn’t the same as before
[Bridge]
Slowly we become a single mold
Watching as my skin becomes your skin and starts to hold
I was told that there’s a wonder in the place our bodies go
Driving ’round the sins of both my lives will keep you cold
I deserve it, I’ve been stalling, I’ve been selfish, I’ve been wrong
Finally I heard my name, the absolution called
Now I need it, now I crave the writing burned into the wall
Sitting in your hands to watch the ending of it all
[Chorus]
I arrive
In the eyes of my grandfather’s daughter
In the light
But I couldn’t remember your words
I survived
And the guilt’s falling off me in pieces
I’m alive
And it isn’t the same as before
[Verse 3]
I thought this time I might just walk away from you
If I’m the thief and you’re the proof, it’s pain to choose
It felt like a first, but it wasn’t new
It felt like a sin, it was more like a noose
[Refrain]
It’s harder now to hold ya
It’s harder now to hold ya
[Verse 4]
I’m ashamed, lost my decree, it paid to lose
The first of sixty thousand hours obsessed with you
It wasn’t a lie, but it wasn’t the truth
I tried blaming me, ended up blaming you
[Refrain]
It’s harder now to hold ya
It’s harder now to hold ya
It’s harder now to hold ya
It’s harder now to hold ya