i no longer drink but i'm an alcoholic
which means there is no longer a constant stream of alcohol going through my blood ensuring that another human can't grow healthily inside of me
i don't sh** blood anymore
recently i barely sh**
the sh** builds inside of me
causing me to burp
& feel nauseous
& take laxatives
& feel warm
& act b**hy
& pee often
which are all symptoms of being pregnant
every time i've taken a pregnancy test
i've been wasted in the company of another wasted person
currently i'm neither
i am thinking about the term “wasted”
what i am is lying in my bed
where i've been for the past two hours
craving xanax
unable to tell a boy who “loves me” what is going on
because i suspect he loves the idea of me
not the actual me who burps & sh**s