On the first day or school, your cla** made up of freshmen will be silent
This will lead you to feel uncomfortable and scared at the thought of “the rest of your career”
In your panicked state standing in front of the cla**, you will tell your students you're “a pretty easy goin' guy” and that they dont really need to respect you since you're just someone they see for an hour or so a day
Your attention shifts to a bead of sweat going down your forehead.
You start to lift up an arm to wipe the sweat only to discover your underarms are soaked
sh**
You clench your arms to your sides to prevent any of your students from noticing
You stare at them
“Do you guys have any questions?”
A chubby African American in the middle of the cla**room raises his hand
“How much do you weigh?”
Your favorite cla**room appliance is the overhead, but when you turn the lights off to make the projection clear, students go to sleep
You resort to leaving the lights on
~ 2 to 3 times you leave the cla**room unattended to get a light bulb because you think the projector has burnt out, but really a student has unplugged it
When you return to the cla**room, everyone is out of their seats talking loudly
You wonder if teachers think you have control or authority over your cla**
During the third week or so of school, there is a knock at your cla**room door
When you open the door, no one is there
This happens 2 more times in the same cla** before you notice 2 girls who you thought were quiet and reserved had been knocking on their desks
Your face turns red and you say “good one…” while trying to smile
You stare blankly at the floor for ~10 to 15 seconds before returning to your lesson
You decide one day to tell your cla** about how you proposed to your wife
They bring it up at extremely unrelated times and you begin to feel ashamed
You didnt think it was that funny that your wife threw up after you proposed to her at Cedar Point
I mean you had just gotten off a rollercoaster
You begin to resent the cla**, and the resentment of the cla** quickly turns into you hating your job
You sweat before it starts, and then once you start worrying about the sweating you sweat even more
The principal sits in on your lesson one day and you sweat so much it drips onto the overhead and when you try to wipe off your face you scratch it accidentily and it bleeds a little bit but only a girl in the front row sees
They are loud, they are immature, they are out of control
One week your sister goes missing and you tell them you need them to cooperate but they dont
They are relentless
The cla** carries a D average
There is a quiet boy who maintains strait Bs
His mom emails you 2 to 3 times per week with concerns about his academic preformance
You call him out of cla** one day and tell him you need help
You ask him what you should do
You manage to make him feel uncomfortable
He says he doesn't know
One day a boy who all the students refer to as “Nardy” tries to help you gain control
“Nardy” singles out the chubby African American who asked you how much you weigh on the first day of school
Nardy tells him to be quiet when he talks during your lesson
The chubby African American calls him a f*g
Nardy stands up and starts yelling at the chubby African American
The chubby African American starts to leap at Nardy
You hold out your arms and raise your voice telling them to calm down
People are yelling “FIGHT, FIGHT, FIGHT!”
You try to hush them
A teacher you don't know looks through the window in your door
The girls who simulated the knocks at the door earlier in the year are coughing loudly when you are trying to teach the distributing property
One of them is leaned into the aisle coughing into her bookbag
She starts saying “I don't feel so..” and then you hear her vomit
You run over and the other girl makes noises like she is supressing laughter
You look and there is no vomit in the bookbag
You hear someone say “he actually ran!” in an amazed tone of voice
People are laughing
You tell the girls loudly that it wasn't a funny joke, that you thought it was an actual emergency
You start hearing fat jokes at an increasing frequency
You confiscate a rap written about you pa**ing out in the teachers lounge after drinking 40s in a wife-beater
There are pictures drawn of you with sweatmarks under your arms and man b**bs
You are silent one day as the kids file into cla**
You tell them things need to change
You get really emotional and say “you guys think I don't hear the mean comments, but I do.”
They are quieter for a week or so then things return to normal
Your cla** takes their final on a Wednesday morning
Their scores are a mixture of D's F's and one B
You are asked by the principal to not return the next year
You don't tell the kids
On the last day of school while you pack up your inspirational quote posters, they take pictures of you with their digital cameras from unflattering angles and laugh
The pictures exist years later on facebook in an album somewhere that you never saw