We're off on holiday to Marbella
We’re going to get laid by some greasy fellahs
We want some lump that's going to plate us
And we're going to get under some Italian waiters
Dragged this daygo back to the hotel
He’s got a nice body, but he didn't half smell
He was kicking and squealing, but I wasn't proud, I said:
'Come on, spic, get a hard on, now!'
Dance round your handbags
My boyfriend's a twat, he's getting on my tits
He hasn't shagged me for a week coz he’s always too pissed
But he won’t know what the fu*k to do when he sees my 'I love Jose’ tattoo
He can do as he pleases, but he's getting my diseases
I waxed my knicker line and he called me a slag
He's getting no nookie when I get back
He's on the couch and I’m on the rag
Dance round your handbags
'Julie? Are you coming to the bogs?
Them ones by the bar tried to give us a snog
I can tell by the bulge in their trousers
That they're hung like horses and not like mouses.'
Dance round your handbags