I am Jan Brady, and you must believe that or forever perish in your doubt I am the soul embodiment of Jan, and I exist to serve the Brady alter for I have become one with another soul, and I have no need for others! [Chorus] Jan Brady has returned took over my soul and body then the hairstyle flew up all by itself never to be changed I am Jan, Jan I am I like to eat green eggs and ham so now you must believe and worship me
or else a lost soul you will be I pick up my lunch from Alice our house keeper I go to school with my Brady brothers we live in the same house but we come from different mothers! [Chorus] I know I cracked the family picture with my bike I was'nt wearing my gla**es but I fixed everything with a bat of my eye lashes with my wig, I'll be a smash polyester plaid bell bottoms, I ain't no TRASH!!!! [Chorus]