Throw Your Phone in the Ocean Twenty thousand people on an island complaining ‘bout Verizon. “sh*t, I think a tower's down.” There’s a kaleidoscope where the sea hits the horizon but they bangin' on appliances. “Damn. I think the routers out.” I need a signal. Gimme that password Keep the spiel kid, thanks, didn't ask for it At a bar on the beach at the office, still Catch a fallin’ sky and put in your pocket Imma watch that sh*t go down. Imma gawk as aquarius hurls to the ground while a lone star launches herself from co*kpit hopin' that her parachute'll operate now Wait. Bottle that moment. Hold up. Check that connеction Hey, swallow that mimosa and forget about your headachеs Hey, coddled ass grownups, skip the letter to the editor These bottles in the ocean got a devastating message Like, I hope that someone gets my reference Or at least acknowledges the Effertz Perhaps the doctors of our universal presence Never stopped weigh the consequences of a broader connection So if a cell phone tower on an island falls (“It fell right into the bluffs!”) Can't nobody make the call (“Is anybody gonna pick that up?) Did it ever really happen at all? You throw your phone in the ocean Yup, and then you're untethered Throw your phone in the ocean Yup, and then you feel better Throw your phone in the ocean Yup, and then it gets wetter Throw your phone in the ocean Don't call me in the mornin like Doctor! Don't fix my antennae Throw ya phone in the ocean Yup, and then you feel better Throw your phone in the ocean Yup, and then it gets wetter Throw your phone in the ocean Day 3: itch gone rash. Gotta get the chip beneath the skin to talk back. Whole island sick from detachment. Town wide melt down. The city just snaps
With no gifs they forget how to laugh. The P.O.S. down and nobody brought cash. That means no tips for the staff and they can't log overtime. The kitchen might crack next They screamin’ “Mutiny!” at Aldo’s and the Manisses. I hear they started looting the Atlantic like a pack of thieves. The manager's like, “Please I have a family!”Tied to the mast of a burning ship sent back to the sea Bar arguments are left unsettled. The only music playin’ at Scotch comes from the pebbles as they're combed by the foaming tide, climbing and resting. If you'd only close your eyes you could hear the sirens beckoning. It's angelic Then we’re happy with detachment for a moment And everyone's relaxed enough to notice The enchantment of our understated cumulative wholeness A friend without a profile A web without a modem But then the tower pulls itself up by the motors And brushes the the bluff crumbs from its unworthy shoulders And we all resume our voluntary torment Hurry! Drown your fu*kin' phone like an informant! You throw your phone in the ocean Yup, and then you're untethered Throw your phone in the ocean Yup, and then you feel better Throw your phone in the ocean Yup, and then it gets wetter Throw your phone in the ocean Don't call me in the mornin like Doctor! Don't fix my antennae Throw ya phone in the ocean Yup, and then you feel better Throw your phone in the ocean Yup, and then it gets wetter Throw your phone in the ocean Doctor! Throw your iPhone in the ocean Doctor! Throw your Google Pixel in the ocean Doctor! Throw your Samsung in the ocean