Yo, uh, yeah, yeah, yo
[Verse 1: Jay Love]
Everybody want to test me especially the emcees against me
The rest be the critics and the b**hes that stress me
Catch me smoking whet leaves with the sensi
Unless we drinking Hennessy mixed with Pepsi
If you ready, then bring it son, like Bruce I'm swinging son
And I'm a beat your a** from here to kingdom come
And just when you think it's done, the Abbott'll bring a drum
And knock you off the stage that you singing from
'Cause when I'm drinking rum, anything can happen
I'll dis you when I'm rapping, hit your b**h in the back end
Pull out, come in her face and put it back in
Jay Love up in the place, let's get it cracking
Smacking foes with masterful faster flows
Smash your nose, leave your a** in a casket closed
At last, it goes: we be hara**ing hoes
Puff hash and dro and beat everyone's a** {opposed?}
[Hook 1: Louis Logic & Jay Love]
LL: If you see me at my in-store and tell me that some other rapper drinks more
JL: If you dis us in a write-up and we see you in a nightclub
LL: If you pussies on the internet are b**hing that our album isn't finished yet
JL: If I'm trying to get my knob slobbed and you step in and co*k block
[Verse 2: Louis Logic]
If y'all piss me off, I got a prescription for
A horse steroid called Wisterol
I live to brawl, and I ain't even fighting fair
I'll kick your balls like b**hy broads
'Til my Nike Airs are ripped and worn
I'm like Mickey Rourke after a six or more
And bar flies starting bar fights and whiskey wars
The immature kid that swore 'til his lips were sore
Even sticks and stones, this is for sure
Don't leave your chicks alone
Cause I ain't just a fighter, I'm a lover too
A fascist Casanova, pa**ing over ugly shrews
Jay Love and Lou, do not attempt to adjust your tubes
We're as booze drenched and drunk as you
We stumble through like a one legged man
With his stump removed, drunk and doing one minute keg stands
Unfinished eggs can't crack the way your heads got to
We'll beat your a** like a pair of angry stepfathers
[Hook 2: Jay Love & Louis Logic]
JL: If you invite me to smoke then go and light up a roach
LL: Yo, if ya mom don't get her tired a** off my lawn
JL: If you're a bouncer a**hole trying ta take my drink after last call
LL: If you're a chick giving me head and you let my babies drip on the bed
[Verse 3: Louis Logic & Jay Love]
LL: This takes us back to high school
I'm a have to beat your a** before cla**
And then I'll take your geek's hall pa**
If the fake police walk past, I'll dip in the bathroom
Don't laugh dude, I'm coming back and ripping yo a** soon
JL: At last Lou, I'll pa** through to share this last brew
And ask who wants to get served quick, like fast food
I snuffed a rent-a-cop who said he caught the scent of pot
I said it was the stench of twat from a dirty freshman's box
LL: This chick needs to bless the crotch with the salt and vinegar
Before we finish her, because the scent is sort of sinister
Or I'm a call a minister to do an exorcism
Cause it smells like something died inside her screwing mechanism
JL: Douche that wretched kitten you sewage infested pigeon
Cause, ew, that scent is kicking like two Mexicans fishing
Yo Lou, go get the izm 'cause I need to puff
Cause I'll beat the f** out of everyone if I ain't weeded up
[Hook 3: Louis Logic & Jay Love]
LL: If you crude s*uts don't clean your mouth out with a toothbrush
JL: Yo, if you're running your mouth about me f**ing your spouse
LL: If you want to talk trash, then I'll smack your a** you lil' s*ut
JL: Girl, if you front about your age and they dump me in a cage
LL: If you're a hussy who won't try to give up her p**y
LL: You know what I'm saying? You s*ut bag slore of a who*e!
JL: If you're a chick that I'm dating, s**ing my dick and scraping
[Sounds of violence]
LL: I think that's enough sh** talking for one night
Alright, sweaty
[Skit]
(King:) I hereby proclaim that from now on
Nothing that starts with the letter P
Will be allowed in my kingdom
But sire, sire, what about the palace?
Where else shall we live?
My lord, what about my p**no?
No "Por Que"? No "Pimp sh**"?
No Playboy? No Phonograph?
Thank you, your highness!
That means there will be no prosecutors
No prisons, and best of all, no police!
But Sir Hoster, that also will mean
There'll be no pushing perico
But his magnificense, no peyote?
No papers? No Phillies? No poppy? No pot?
My pills! My pills! No poetry?
What about the peasants, sire?
My lord, no prostitutes?
No prostitutes! No prostitutes!!
His kingship, no prostitutes!!!
[Crying]
NO PROSTITUTES!!!!
What? No p**y?
[Gasps]
(King:) I hereby declare, that from now on, uh
This is a royal change of mind, that's what this is
From now on, everything that begins with P
Is welcome in the kingdom
[Cheers]
p**y! p**no's back baby!