My old dog misses me so
To the beach, to the dog park, he don't wanna go
He lies there, waiting at the foot of my bed
Because he knows I'm right there, even though I'm dead
Your late husband, that would be me
I've been gone so long I'm just a faint memory
I've been disparaged in pa**ing by your friends late at night
I blew out the candles all on, that served him right
The day that I died, I knew I was toast
Next thing I was hanging out with Marley's ghost
Hamlet's father, he's a friend of mine
That old cane can't keep from crying
At my memorial service there was quite a turnout
Some stayed away, hey, what was that all about?
Tell me, didn't she love me, didn't he care?
Nobody saw me, but I was right there
(I was doing a head count)
Now I'm out of the picture, yeah, I'm off of the book
Just a chunk of time, that was all that it took
Was it a shot from a gun, a slip of a knife
I don't know what k**ed me, Lord, it might have been life
I had a few children, wrote a few songs
I got some of it right and a lot of it wrong
I bought a few houses, a few boats, a few cars
Being a ghost you might as well be on Mars
(‘Cause you're so far out)
Being a ghost, yeah, you're just in between
Each and every day of the year's Halloween
Hanging around, but you're not really there
You're hovering over your own old easy chair
Lord, I was hoping for heaven, yeah, that would've been swell
‘Cause being a ghost, ah, is like being in hell
You're hungry and you're tired and you can't get no rest
And though I'd settle for heaven, oblivion would be best
I've been flying around, rattling chains
Appearing in mirrors just to make you insane
Making those noises in your house late at night
Yeah, I got to haunt you even though it ain't right
My old dog, he misses me so
To the beach, to the dog park, he don't wanna go
He lies there, waiting at the foot of my bed
Because he knows I'm right there, even though I'm dead