I wish I was a lesbian and not a hetero
I wouldn't have to mess with men and all their come-and-go
And all that awful facial hair and yucky "ma-chis-mo"
Ooooooo, I wish I was a lesbian and not a hetero
I wish I was a lesbian and that I wasn't straight
I would sleep with women only; man, that would be great
I could throw away my diaphragm; I wouldn't wanna mate
Ooooooo, I wish I was a lesbian and that I wasn't straight
Hey!
I wish I was a lesbian; I'd like to be a dyke
I would hang with k.d. lang; Mel Gibson, take a hike
I think it would be nice to love someone who was alike
Ooooooo, I wish I was a lesbian; I'd like to be a dyke
I wish I was a lesbian; that's why this song is sung
It shouldn't have to matter how someone is hung
Other things are more important, like how to use your tongue
I wish I was a lesbian; that's why this song is sung
Hey!
I dare Casey Kasem to play this!
I wish I was a lesbian; I know it's sad, but true
But maybe I might understand you guys and all you do
But if I was a lesbian, I wouldn't have to
I wish I was a lesbian; I know it's sad, but true
Hey, I wish I was a lesbian and not a hetero
I wouldn't have to mess with men and all their come-and-go
And all that awful facial hair and yucky "ma-chis-mo" (I hate that damned machismo!)
Ooooooo, I wish I was a lesbian and not a hetero
I wish I was a lesbian and not a hetero
I wish I was a lesbian and not a hetero!