Time to wake up, son, time to go to school! Here, put on your socks, let me wipe off all that drool No you can't have chicken nuggets, mommy made some eggs I'm sorry, that's the rule, so please stop biting my legs Driving into school, with Kidz Bop on repeat Have a good day son while I go feel a moment's peace You sneeze in my mouth, I cringe and say bless you You run off and I'm pretty sure you just gave me the flu I used to be a man I used to be a person, but Now I'm just a meal ticket for a parasite Life support system for a greedy little tyke All my dreams and plans had to take a backseat To a twenty pound crying, whining, sh**ty sack of meat I don't know how the moon, no, and I don't know why a tree I don't know why you ask these questions so incessantly What'd you do today, oh you saw a cat, that's nice I contemplated the abyss as I grieved for my life Son, your baby sister's sternum is not a trampoline Why is peanut bu*ter toast stuck on my computer screen
I've read you five stories, now will you please go to sleep Fine, I'll read you another, you selfish little creep I used to have fun I used to have friends, but Now I don't have anything in my life But the unceasing march of time Everyone I know is a parent too And their kids s** as much as mine Eat your peas Preschool cesspool Preschool cesspool Preschool cesspool Preschool cesspool No one at that school makes the children wash their hands Then they go home, spread disease across the land Filthy microbes have infested all my cells I got what I deserved in a self-made hell I used to be fine I used to be healthy, but Now I'm just a shell, just a walking garbage pile Here's your fish sticks, laundry's done dear, meanwhile Can't take a second for myself to putrefy, but Maybe, if I'm very very lucky, I could die In this Preschool cesspool Preschool cesspool Preschool cesspool Preschool cesspool