Fifteen red-eyed jugglers Flew in from parts unknown; Shared seats with ten smugglers, Five pirates, and a gnome. Thirty-one crude cutthroats All with a single aim: Sink anything that floats; Leave this world in flames. Hell was filled So I came back. Aren't you thrilled? Have a heart attack. Do you wanna Tell me Where to go again? This time make it Someplace I haven't been. The jugglers just finished Checking the Wall Street books. One thing was established - They're all liars and crooks. The smugglers need more space For their slaves and their d**. It could be any place Where the law allows thugs. Hell was filled So I came back. Aren't you thrilled?
Have a heart attack. Do you wanna Tell me Where to go again? This time make it Someplace I haven't been. The pirates want a piece Of each ship on the sea. Their leader's named Bernice, And he's making eyes at me. The gnome just came back from An all-night tea party. He's looking pale 'n' glum, Still sippin' his Bacardi. Hell was filled So I came back. Aren't you thrilled? Have a heart attack. Do you wanna Tell me Where to go again? This time make it Someplace I haven't been. Fifteen red-eyed jugglers, Five pirates, ten smugglers, And one Alaskan gnome Juneau there's a joke in there somewhere, Wrapped up in redneck chrome.