Consider the plight of the one-legged knight As he braces his crutch with his shield; He'll stand still and wait till you come for the bait, Then you'll find that the ba*tard won't yield! Do you knock his one leg down, there's still no relief, He'll crawl down the field with his sword in his teeth; And the reach of his sword-arm defies all belief Where he fights in the Cripples' Shield-Wall. Beware the old dame who's arthritic and lame, So knee-sprung she barely can stand; But her hands and her eye are still steady and spry – She's the best crossbow-shot in the land! With a repeating crossbow and war-arrow blade She can pierce any armor that's ever been made – Be glad she's not drawn to the highwayman's trade! She just fights in the Cripples' Shield-Wall! Pray do not go near the knight who can't hear: Though he can't tell command-calls at all, He reads signs from his friends, and his post he defends With a lightning-fast seven-foot maul! They say when it's whirling it raises a breeze, And the head on its chain has been known to break trees – So when he starts swinging, the prudent man flees Where he fights in the Cripples' Shield-Wall! No profit you'll find from the knight who is blind.
He can hear you twelve paces away: He'll listen off-hand till he's sure where you stand, Then his bill-hook reaps far more than hay! He can fight in the forest, the river, the plain, With his hearing unhampered by dark, fog, or rain – He must know his ground, but he'll sure bring you pain Where he fights in the Cripples' Shield-Wall! Watch out in the fight for the cripple-armed knight Whose hand can't swing up – only down, For he'll watch through the dance till he spies a good chance, Then his downstroke will cost you your crown! His shield-arm will raise up his sword-arm, and then He'll watch for a chance with his downstroke again – You know that he'll strike, but you never know when, And he fights in the Cripples' Shield-Wall! Beware, I implore, all ye masters of war Who prefer to draft healthy young boys; For the blind, halt, and lame can be good at this game, When well-placed, defending the toys. They've learned their art well, and they strike hard and true – If they've something to prove, then they'll prove it on you! The last line on Earth that you'd want to drive through, You can swear, is the Cripples' Shield-Wall! Beware of the Cripples' Shield-Wall!