Lefty: Aight, yo. Shuffle-T and Marlo
Big J: Are you gonna do that mixing up their name thing?
Lefty: You know what, I was Bruv but they're just, they're just hard though Bruv
Big J: Trust me man. Coz Marlo, you're such a G that if you went to Jamaica for a week they'd let you say 'Char' and 'Warblo'
Lefty: Shuffle-T is such a G his Easter egg was luxury. We'll swag this out comfortably. See you man are hard but, the only time you're touching weed is when you're actually touching weed
Big J: But I've always been gangsta as sh**, I'm about that. But I wanna be you, I want a long coat that looks like a dressing gown(a). That I could wear to bed and take out man. And I want long wavy hair that I can brush and blowdry after I get out the shower. Truths out now
Lefty: Trust me man, coz I wanna be like you. It's a shame we're just proud guys. But I wish I was brave enough to wear my inside clothes outside
Big J: But what's good Brudda. You look like a good Brudda. You look like you've got a good mudda. And a good fadda
Lefty: You look like you've got mad swag. No, seriously Bruv, you've got MAD swag. The last even I seen him rocking the coldest Winklepickers and the hardest man bag. HARD BRUV. You look like a mad swagged out Jonny Depp granddad
Big J: You're shoe game is sick! Oi Left we need to get some shoes like this
Lefty: They ain't shoes they're slippers
Big J: They're not slipoers Bruv they're flippers
Lefty: They're not flippers, they're just... Different
Big J: I mean Blud, wagwarn for that long coat. I wanna rock that long coat. I wanna buy that long coat. Give me that long coat
Lefty: Allow him man, that's not even a coat, it's a robe
[Round 1: Shuffle T]
Let's start with a lethal doubles back and forth
We thought we were battling Mr. 13
[Marlo]
That's who me and Shuffle were planning for
[Shuffle T]
But he backed out
[Marlo]
But don't get it twisted, it wasn't even underhand at all
[Shuffle T]
He's got a lot on his plate
[Marlo]
Promoting Don't Flop on the way
[Shuffle T]
So his decision not to battle is completely understandable
Once we realized instead we had to battle two of the fakest dudes
We were more than pissed with the way the situation brewed
So we though, "f** it. I think that it's time we break the rules."
[Marlo]
So Lefty
[Shuffle T]
And Big J
[Both]
Hahaha April Fools
[Shuffle T]
Sorry about that joke didn't know quite if we should
[Marlo]
But seriously, how are you guys? Are you good?
[Shuffle T]
Now let's drop all the crap, we were honored and glad to be offered this match
[Marlo]
We've finally gotten to hang with the popular lads like I promised my dad
[Shuffle T]
Honestly man, they're not just a comedy act, they properly rap
Their top priority is topical and quality tracks
[Marlo]
You...could model for mags
I was trying some scraps
Of some kind things for you every night in my room before I even knew this was a compliments match
[Shuffle T]
But let's keep it short cause no one wants to hear how novice's rap
We both wear jackets in our battles, mine in honestly crap
We both wear earphones that hook up in the back
It's pretty obvious that I went and copied your swag
I'm sorry for that
[Marlo]
John is the man, when your daughter's 18
She'll be a strong self sufficient...
[Shuffle T]
Independent person G
[Marlo]
Even though she clearly won't need a bloke we just hope she finds someone who treats her...
[Shuffle T]
With respect and courtesy
[Marlo]
And Lefty, Lefty is the realest of dudes
My chick says she wants to leave me for you
And I said, "I can't help but agree with you boo
So let's hook up after the battle for a threesome or two
Cause no h*mo I dog broads with my co*k pork
But if you and I accidentally crossed swords in a hot org' and got more than we stocked for
I would not...not want more
What?
Pause, double negative
But these f**ing legends will have no trouble penning some much more better sh**
[Shuffle T]
Big J's cuddles benefit on some hugs from Teddy sh**
Plus his mother blessed him with a f**ing lovely...
Sense of wit
What? You thought I would say "jugs" or f**ing "breasts" and sh** or double extra chins don't be so f**ing negative
[Marlo]
Listen carefully
Hate you guys, the attack insults flawless
Deprecating your full sk** too mate
[Shuffle T]
Wait, wait, wait, wait
[Marlo]
I got that backwards didn't I?
[Shuffle T]
Yeah
[Marlo]
Reverse that round man
[Shuffle T]
Mate, too sk**ful, your deprecating flawless insults attack the guys you hate
[Marlo]
Me? I'm a bit of a fruity twat with that [?] swag
Here's a literally useless fact
I just finished a few exams
You however, flipping the view of hand are sicker than flu, in fact
Visions of Superman spitting to slew your match
Your delivery proves the latter cause typically you're relaxed
And control your flow with a strong force so you are long forth known as the lyrical Hoover Dam
[Shuffle T]
The legionnaire squad that surrounds you; untouchable
Anyone says differently about you; insufferable
Whenever anybody is around you...they're comfortable
You wanna know the reason for that dude? You're lovable
This kid? He has something special when he raps
Yeah he's technically mad
So how do you think he feels when I start stepping to this champ
Look at Lefty in his Vans and tell him with affection I respect him as a man
But wait, cause I got something extra in the can for this fine specimen at hand
Cause you are straight as hell
Seriously, we won't even need baby bell cause of the way the name is spelled
More than that, your bars come straight from Hell
Your face is swell, you age so well I can't figure out if you're 8 or 12
I've suppressed any feelings of being gay I felt
Cause I sincerely wanted to save myself for J and L
[Marlo]
Pretty gay
Big J you got people telling you your type's dead
Just a single syllable two bit rhyme head
f** them, only you do your style best it's amusing
Plus the execution's priceless
[Shuffle T]
So does he get our seal of approval signed?
[Marlo]
Yes, cause you stick to your guns like you glued your biceps
You're funny as f**, that's how you murder a stage
In fact you spit so much fire with your multiple capers that Adversity's face will need emergency aid before it burns from the flames
I'm losing words to convey it, f** any person that hates, J you're perfect and great
[Shuffle T]
And I'm certain that J is turning me gay
Seriously, before this battle I was perfectly straight
I happen to think it's something about your circular frame and indeterminate weight
That has got an [?] change but
I'd probably go further to say
That even though you probably have girls on a plate
And every single motherf**ing person in the world is your mate
I would still purposefully stray
And I don't give a f** if I get terminal AIDS like Freddie Mercury's case
I want to feel your motherf**ing s**m on my face!
[Marlo]
What the f** was that?
[Shuffle T]
Ah, a part of our double's match
[Marlo]
Don't make me a part of that you f**ing twat
[Shuffle T]
I'm just showing him some love and that
[Marlo]
You are such a f*g
[Shuffle T]
Oh woah, woah, double back
You said you could trust me man
I showed you every other rap in my pink and fluffy pad
[Marlo]
Man, there's a line in the f**ing sand
You, appeared to have stumbled that
And tumbled down to Wonderland
Apologize
[Shuffle T]
Sorry guys I probably shouldn't have come with that
[Marlo]
Anyway, back to the planned lines
J isn't wack guys so lay off his backside
If I hear any of the lamest of twats try to claim that he's fat I
Will arrange that the man dies
Haters are mad, why? It's stating the facts time
Just cause he impersonated a Villun doesn't make him a bad guy
[Shuffle T]
And I hope you can hear me dude
Your ears are cute
When people say they're weird and screwed I just think they're really you
[Marlo]
Well that's clearly true
And look, I don't want to make a spectacle of Inspector Cool
[Shuffle T]
But you should expect a call from Spec Savers especially requesting your presence for selling all many sorts of special order spectacles
[Marlo]
Cause your specs are cool
[Shuffle T]
And he doesn't simply mean the sh** you see with he means your every physical aspect and all
[Marlo]
Not only are those trendsetting specs Lefty
[Shuffle T]
But believe that we've been checking out your pecs Lefty
[Marlo]
[?] structure of your chest Lefty
[Shuffle T]
Doing 27 reps a day of every set, Lefty
[Marlo]
What comes next Lefty?
[Shuffle T]
Working on your legs Lefty?
[Both]
Take it from us you're looking at your very best Lefty!
[Marlo]
Here's a line to describe you two, quite dapper
Ladies from Alaska to Dubai gather to you like fruit flies to pineapples
And if you spy a beautiful blue eyed slapper but she's too shy to have a few pints and the prude type that's just a two nights challenge
Smooth guy banter
And you guys have a Maroon 5 swagger
The Moves Like Jagger
Your two line chat up is lube like matter for poon, I gather
So emotionally several s**er dudes might scatter the room like maggots
You guys actually prove quite handsome
Take her back to your for a good night shagging
[Shuffle T]
And I'm always defending my girl, on that insecurity tip
Big J doesn't need to do that cause he's secure with his chick
I bet in the sack she is a furious nyph'
She gave birth to those cute little kids and still keeps those luxurious hips
Well, at least I mean, I'm a**uming the sh**
Because typically, originally, as humans we mix who catches the magic attraction to us a bit
So judging from the shape of this beautiful prince
I'm a**uming your chick is f**ing stupidly thick
[Marlo]
I checked out the Legionaries online and I was genuinely feeling it
When Lefty and his team are spitting everything is ether this
GZP called December but his heat could singe the hair off Ibrahimovic
[Shuffle T]
Plus you can download off the web and it is free and sh**
[Marlo]
Absolutely no fair to the payment bruv
They don't care if you saved it up
Or even if you are a millionaire with some crazy bucks
They'll spare you the change so you can get all your basic stuff
Sorted and still get to sharing the latest buzz
The won't f** you over kids, they're into making love
Legionaries are legends compared to the greatest son
And J can dictate what's gangster and what ain't
Cause face it, his parents created one
[Shuffle T]
Everyone always puts your slogan down to awkward shouting
Without realizing you're the only one qualified to talk about it
Cause this man's a freaking clone of Al freaking pone, a hard case
[Marlo]
And physically manly thug
[Shuffle T]
He's got the actual hemoglobin of Al Pacino's role in Scarface
That's literally gangster blood
So to summarize these f**ing guys are nothing we could par
It's tough to be as hard as these f**ing genius are
[Marlo]
Make a hundred people laugh, that's not such an easy task
But with these two you'll always get something from the bar
[Shuffle T]
Slow it down
[Marlo]
Let's open a round
[Shuffle T]
Do you want something from the bar?
{Marlo and Shuffle T hand them beers they pull from their jackets}
Lime....time!