The first time that I went to church was on a Sunday morning And from what I'd heard, I figured I'd spend me whole time yawning At 18 years of age or so, I thought I knew it all Me hair was long, me jeans were tight I loved a knife and buckle fight Provided mates stood left and right And those we fought were small But me mates and me, we'd never been, So off to church we filed We marched inside, about three abreast Straight down the middle aisle Some of us were smokin' cigs; Ron was s**ing candies We sat in what they call a "pew" Then looked around to see just who'd come inside Let me tell you, everyone dressed like dandies And the row behind was full of dames You shoulda seen their looks! And one old dear, she gives me a smile And offers me some books Tah! We open 'em, pa** 'em around You shoulda seen the words, all set out like poetry is And Sam says through his lemon fizz "These books is fer the birds" "Shhhh! Tsk tsk tsk tsk!" One old lady says And the whole place buzzed And Sam turns around and says "Oh do hush up, you make more noise than us" We looked around the building then It really was revealing Sam says, "Hey mates, I get the score "There ain't no carpets on the floor "Look at the rafters; they're so poor they can't afford a ceiling "Can't afford electric either; using candles everywhere" "Shut your face," I says to Sam, "I'm be listening" So was Ron And from the left, without a noise Came a line of little boys And Sam says, in a puzzled voice, "Coo, they've all got nighties on"
Then came men, in robes and banners "Look at that one, must be queer " And they dare condemn us for the way we choose our gear?" And then there's the minister, who's job's to preach The Minister Whats-his-name Those real long prayers, and what he preaches Sounds just about the same I came to church to listen — close But I can't understand their chatter It's like "mumble, mumble, shifting sinking sands" And words like judgment or reprimand Well, me and me mates can't understand talk quite like that I'm used to talking with me mates With words that has a meaning If people like that sort of stuff… Well, let them, that's okay But let me tell you what I feel I feel we need someone who'll deal in words and thoughts And things that's real — I'd listen to what he'd say Me mum once said, "Son, Jesus came to help young men like you" But Jesus came so long ago, Mum, and I don't think it's true But is there anyone here, right now, who can explain to me Is Christ a myth? A madman's whim? Some say Christ can cure our sin I S there a way to contact Him? Or will I die not knowing how? Listen, I only came to church to see if they could offer hope But everything that happened there was way outside my scope Like afterwards, outside, was a beggar on the gra** He held out his hand, and people'd smile, then they'd pa** I'm sure he reached for something real For something more than cash He begged them for a little cheer And they all pretended not to hear I get the message, Loud and clear: Church is middle cla**