I wrote this letter for her, but she never read it.
It went like..
Dear Maria,
Are you "The One"? Slim and slender, with fair skin - some would say too fair though compared to me, but who cares yo, cause we're all the same color when we bleed. Your honesty ignites in me a desire to get to know the fire behind those light brown eyes. They pull out a smile from the child that I keep locked up inside. He's chained to these walls of cool, calm, and collected, though my heart is beating fast and I'm stressing about what I should say next. But a deep breath centers me, and your steady gaze strengthens me, as I ask - where you're from, what you do, that plan for your life, and what's your next move. And every answer humbles my perfectionist mind. You don't fit the mold that I hold of a perfect woman, but you're perfectly you, authentic and true. It's a beautiful sight to see a lady so bright, but it's blinding to my judgmental eyes. And though now I can't see right, I still decide - that you can be "The One" that I've been waiting for all this time.
But therein lies the cut - a self-inflicted wound of confusion where emotions rush out to compound the illusion of love. I'm catching feelings that I threw at myself. Going crazy as my over-an*lytical mind looks over single text and line, stressing my body with pains that no amount of lyrical wordplay could ever verbalize. And it's all really my fault cause in my head I've visualized our whole relationship from beginning to end. Watching a movie of unrequited affection, followed by a section of romantic perfection. But it's all a fantasy - a foolish distraction. I shot myself in the foot with Cupid's arrow, and now I'm trippin' - all over these imaginary pa**ions. And that's my downfall, built you up tall - inspired by beauty to paint a picture of you, but I only used my favorite colors. I wanted you to be "The One" so bad that I forgot what I already had - I had you. Plain and simple with no make-up - so easy to talk to. A friend, who accepted me as I was - no need to pretend to be someone I'm not.
But that all stopped. Cause my innocent infatuation was consumed by an obsessive imagination which ruined our conversations. I tried to manipulate by putting on this cool face of a guy who acted as if he didn't want you by his side. But you saw past that facade of pride and decided not to respond to my lies, saying bye bye. And that's when I felt mad sad until I took a step back and started to understand - that you let me off easy for my own good. In your way you relayed that I first had to face my inner demons, and that I could. So nah, you weren't "The One" that I've been waiting for, but you were the one to show me that there's more to life if I let go of expectations. If I focus on true and honest communication. Your cold shoulder was kind of a blessing - it froze over this mask I've been wearing for years, and now I'm sharing my mistakes and fears with others in hopes that it sheds light on the dark nights of my brothers.
So thank you Maria. It'll be cool if one day we can form some sort of romantic cliche.
But for now, I gotta accept, that you're onto the next. So Peace.
But PS, hit me up on text.