She came backstage at a Kunt gig
She's had 50 years on me
If I'm in my early 30's
Well, that makes her 83
She said "D'ya know what a groupie is?"
And I said "Well, of course!"
She came and sat down on my lap
She smelt just like mint sauce
She told me I had what it takes
To make it in showbiz
She said she once f**ed Arthur Askey
That's just how old she is
From the Rolling Stones to Razorlight
They've all been up her clout
She poured her bloomers to one side
And a f**ing moth flew out!
Dee, she's the oldest groupie
Her tits are round her waist
And she weed on my face
When I licked out her p**y
Oh, Dee, what do I see in thee?
She lives in a sheltered flat
She's got a shrivelled up twat
But I don't care about that
She said she once f**ed Tommy Cooper
He did it 'just like that!'
He conjured up a hard-on
And he stuck it up her twat
She showed me pictures of her threesomes
I couldn't believe my eyes
She'd been rogered by Rogers & Hammerstein
And skied with Morecambe & Wise
She'd been spit-roasted by Chas & Dave
And felched by Blazin' Squad
She got a facial when the lead singer
From Showaddywaddy lost his wad
From Adam Ant to Zucchuro
They'd all been up her snitch
She'd pulled a train on Dave Dee
Dozy, Beaky, Mick and Titch!
Dee, she's the oldest groupie
Her tits are round her waist
And she weed on my face
When I licked out her p**y
Oh, Dee, what do I see in thee?
She lives in a sheltered flat
She's got a shrivelled up twat
But we can lubricate that