[Intro] I can handle my liquor But this bar can't handle me Darkness all around And that girl just fell off her barstool I'm just... drunk But I can hold my liquor! [Hook] I can't handle my liquor But these b**hes can't handle me! I can't control my N words And my N words that can't control me Say you know me my N word But really you just know the old me [Verse] b**h you lookin like Yoda! Wait, that's just my glaucoma Your stomach giving me a bo*er Your weight must be 90 pounds over Looks like you really like donuts Why are you doing yoga? Don't lose that fat, girl just own it Jesus, girl you're humongous Your b**bies looking all bulbous Call my penis Columbus Bout to swim through your ocean Damn, I should've brought a compa** I'm getting lost in the darkness Sorry I'm being cautious Your body's just so freaking gorgeous Don't get on top I'm claustrophobic You're crushing me with your stomach
I'm starting to lose conscience ...... Okay I'm back out my coma! Damn I thought my life was over Get off of me you freaking walrus Now my whole body's numb, b**h! Can't move, I'm Stephen Hawking Body feeling like a carca** I forgive you, but that was heartless! Baby girl you look starvin'! I'm gonna make you some pasta You want Spaghetti or Lasagna? Okay, all I have is Ramen Just hurry up and finish munchin' Get in bed, pull back the covers What do you mean that's your belly bu*ton? [Hook] I can't handle no liquor But these b**hes can't handle me! I can't control my Nimbus And my Nimbus that can't control me Say you got me my Nimbus But I got that sh** from Roshi [Bridge] I heard you got a small dick I heard your girlfriend saw that I heard that she laughed at that I heard you cried about that sh** Cum all over your girls face Jizz all over the place I hope you brought a towel Or a Sham-Wow