(spoken, by John)
Get deep into the sh**. Get into it. Roll around in it. The sh** is brown, so get down with it. Get down with the funk and roll around in it. You can't make a omelet without breakin' a few yolks, so get down into the sh**, I'm talkin' all you folks. This sh** is totally funky, this sh** is not a joke. Listen! Get down into the sh** and roll around in it. Be one with this sh** and let it stick to your body. Let the sh** lift you up, up out of your own sh**. The sh** will take you higher 'til you perspire from the heat of the sheet. It is hot sh**, so don't take it for granted. Don't sit around while the sh** is down and pretend like you don't understand it, because this is the liberating, sincere, elevating, all-encompa**ing, motherf**in', dick-s**in', funky motherf**in' sh** of absolute and undeniable reality! The sh** is real. The sh** is the real deal. The sh**, in its brownness, in its indisputable viscosity, in its undisputable materiality, in its core, in its soul, it is the sh**. And you best get down with it, else it would leave you at the station, because this sh** is on the move, and you do not wanna be left behind when the sh** train says, "All aboard! Next stop Funkytown! Next stop James Brown!" This sh** is rolling, so roll with it! Get into this sh** and swallow it whole. Dive in headfirst. Sink down as low as you can go. Open your mouth! Breathe in this sh** and swallow it whole, because you need a bellyful of this sh** if you wanna do the funk. You need a body full of funky sh** if you want to –
This ain't no joke, motherf**er, you think I'm jokin'? This sh** has got a great big dick and you better get down on your knees and start smokin'! Submit to it. Else you will never know the truth. And only the truth is gonna set you free. And you gotta be free and funky, else you ain't nothin' but a clone, a drone for the state, a masturbating dick that ain't never f**ed any real sh** ever, and is that what you want?
(audience)
No.
(John)
Is that what you want, motherf**er?!
(audience)
No! No! Hell no!
(John)
I don't think so. Well, then I believe I have sufficiently elucidated your task, so get to it. Step to it. Get down with the funky sh**.