I'm sick of this
Twelve years lying in a ditch
Twelve years being caught up in a cycle of violence against my spirit
Time wasted doing trustfalls
while appendages atrophy and fruits wither
Immaturity resides where vision is twisted towards the Self
depression, my apathy, laziness, insecurity
All come screeching back and grow at an exponential rate
When this is my life
Cycle of shame
Nights spent saying sorry when I half expect to fall again
me of little faith
me of smaller vision
forgive my half-heartedness
knowing You for so long, I know and I see
that if You could raise the dead, you can save me
Need to be healed is greater than before
this is my mistake
my suicide
Melt these bars
Break these chains
pull me out of the window of this cycle of shame
melt these bars
break these chains
use my story to give others courage forgive me for turning my head away
make me ready for You
I'm done with this