K.d. lang | Will Schuester
All the windows were dark. No one knew he was there
All the Whos were all dreaming sweet dreams without care
You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch
You really are a heel
You're as cuddly as a cactus, you're as charming as an eel
Mr. Grinch, you're a bad banana with a greasy black peel
You're a monster, Mr. Grinch
Your heart's an empty hole
Your brain is full of spiders, you've got garlic in your soul
Mr. Grinch, I wouldn't touch you, with a thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole
All I need is a reindeer!
So he took his dog Max, and he took some black thread
And he tied a big horn on the top of his head
Then the Grinch said, "Giddyup!" and the sleigh started down
To the homes where the Whos lay a-snooze in their town
"This is stop number one," the old Grinchy Claus hissed
As she climbed to the roof, empty bags in her fist
Then he slid down the chimney, a rather tight pinch
But if Santa could do it, then so could the Grinch
Then he slithered and slunked, with a smile most unpleasant
Around the whole room, and took every present
Pop-guns! [?]! And cookies! And Drums!
Checkerboards! [?]! Popcorn! And plums!
And he stuffed them in bags. Then the Grinch, very nimbly
Stuffed all the bags, one by one, up the chimney
You're a foul one, Mr. Grinch
You're a nasty, wasty skunk
Your heart is full of unwashed socks, your soul is full of gunk
Mr. Grinch, the three words that best describe you are as follows, and I quote: "Stink. Stank. Stunk."
You nauseate me, Mr. Grinch
With a nauseous super-naus
You're a crooked jerky jockey, and you drive a crooked horse
Mr. Grinch, you're a three-decker sauerkraut and toadstool sandwich with arsenic sauce