[Intro]
The thought of doing everything so consciously hurts my brain
I dream of k**ing you and k**ing my pain too
God wrote a love song on your palms but you still weep
You don't have to apologize for your abandonment issues
What a joy to not be able to see anything clearly
It is a reminder that whatever happens, I am not in control
You are not in control
Do you believe in God? I don't know
Oh what a joy, to not be in control
(The only home I'll never have is an airport
Not all sunsets are created equal)
[Verse]
This is my life with and without you
Hiding in basements
Hiding between the walls of interaction
And being a complete hermit, I
(I still feel lonely even though I have someone)
I try to interact interact socially
(Will I be okay?
You are going to be okay)
I try to interact interact socially
This is my life indoors and outside
(Dustmites eat tiny pieces of us and one day we are less whole
But we never noticed and the dustmites are happy)
I lie in bed and cry
(As a child I picked flowers from the cemetery and gave them to my mother for mother's day)
You probably think I'm really weird
And I do not object, I do not object
(In between disasters you will breathe and you will be free
Because disasters are ok)
(And you're always asleep when I pick up the phone
I don't want to be afraid in my own home
I can't know how you felt when you listened to this song
But I try to understand)
[Outro]
The crackling on the record reminded me of the fire I had in my heart
And the candles I blew out while I was still alive
Now I'm just a Jesus and Mary candle crying to the JAMC
And I'm not good with religion but I sacrificed myself a long time ago
And I hope you die painlessly with laugh lines and wrinkles around your eyes
You don't deserve to die