I am terrified that I have a vortex of sadness within me that you cannot reach
I want to pull out my large intestine and my heart's interior
And cut them with scissors so I can be free
And finally be free from this illness that I hide in the depths and shadow and being
It is not ambiguous, I wish it were ambiguous
These chills and this nausea and this fever sweat
I don't know how to be important
And this I am realizing for the first time in my life