Im stuck inside deep depression...transgression and regretting
No forgetting of how I let in demons and no forgettin
Of the misdirection I was kept in...ignoring blessings
Not thanking God enough, but instead kept disrespecting
Never taking steps to correction, just thinking with my erection
Crying thru blunts, tearing thru smoke and laughin confessions
Will I ever get out? I used to think it to myself
Never cared about my health, thinking money meant wealth
Putting family on the shelf, even when I needed help
I loved myself thru seeing one and seeing someone else
But these feelings remain stealth...i was the leader of my pack
Never cared about the world, just only the world of rap
Till I turned my back, caught in my ways, fell face flat
Made it out alive and still stay thankful for that...
Built like a stone stat(ue), great at what I do..a known fact
Put work in on the street, but now more where the home's at
But will I succeed? or one day go back to puffin trees
Everynow and then I like to hit the ski's where I sneeze
And scheme a little cheese without really feeling guilty
Still sinning...am I clean or just a little less filthy?
Thoughts will never change...this world is forever strange
Even though I consider these some of my "better daze
I've got a lot to learn...but in the same note, a lot to teach
A lot of listening to do, a lot wisdom I should preach
But who I am to preach? I'm just another student in cla**room
Of life, with no break for even going to the bathroom
It makes me kinda bashful, to say the things I know not
Bc knowledge is power and weakness can have u shot
Dead in a plot with a tombstone that says "Forget me not"
Will I be forgiven for sinning or burn where it's hot
Purgatory, in the midst of all my days living
I think about where I'll be when I die, instead living
F*ck it..
Who am I kidding...I'm the same jus new edition
Lookin at my girl and thinking "who is this I'm kissing"
And why the hell am I working..why the hell I ain't flirtin
Why'd my father never bother and was a missing person?
Why me and my brother dont speak, I have evil thoughts?
Why do I continue to sin while I wear a cross?
Why'd I tat Christ on my arm...and continue to do harm?
Patience is a virtue, but it's hard to remain calm
While these thoughts swarm, I'm just one man
I understand...that I serve a purpose in God's
Plan
So I take time out and inhale a deep breath
Point my finger to my head, my chest and then to right and left