[Intro]
Yo, other rappers claim to not give a f**
Well, step aside, b**hes
Cause I give the lowest amount of f** humanly possible
[Hook]
(I don't give a f**)
About anything, f** everyone and f** everything
(I don't give a f**)
I literally don't give a f** about anything
[Verse 1]
I don't give a f** about motherf**in' anything
People care about sh**, I say, "f** everything"
f** you, f** me, f** the sky, f** trees
f** the sun, I don't need heat or vitamin D
And f** toasters, I don't need to cook my bread
And f** coasters, I use a little plate instead
And f** roosters, with your useless co*k-a-doodle-doo
We invented alarm clocks, we no longer need you
Don't give a f** about chairs, I prefer to stand
And f** air conditioners, I got a ceiling fan
And f** the movie "The Fan", starring Wesley Snipes
"Demolition Man" is the only Snipes movie I like
And f** likin' sh**, I don't even like the stuff that I like
Don't give a f** about not likin' all the sh** I don't like
Like tissues, f** 'em, I'll blow my nose on the couch
And f** my nostrils and my sense of smell, I breathe through my mouth
Don't give a f** about seeing, b**h, f** my eyes
f** visual perception, yo, I'd rather be blind
And f** time, seconds are too short and minutes are a joke
And hours are way too long, they should be half-an-hour at most
And f** coasts, don't give a f** about where water meets land
And f** boats, just cause you float, you think you're so f**in' bad?
And f** jokes, I don't need to be funny all the time
My dog has a tumor and he's probably gonna die, but
[Hook]
(I don't give a f**)
About anything, f** everyone and f** everything
(I don't give a f**)
I literally don't give a f** about anything
[Verse 2]
Walked into a coffeeshop and ordered a cup
The girl said, "Small, medium, large?" I said, "b**h, I don't give a f**!"
She said, "I can't process your order if you don't pick a size"
I said, "Fine, I'll take a large, but I still don't give a f**, alright?!"
Don't give a f** about beverage size options, motherf**er
And I don't give a f** about liquids either
They're all wet and sh** and tend to spill all over the place
Like human semen when I get it all over my face
I'm not gay, I just don't give a f** about straight s**
And f** my dick, I'll pee and cum out of my mouth instead
And f** biological functions, f** the human body
I prefer the body of a bat and the head of a coyote
I call myself "Batyote" and I fight crime at night
I know it's similar to Batman, but motherf** copyright
I plagiarize all the time, I do it every day
Cause I'm on the right track, baby, I was born this way
And f** birth, enterin' the world of space and time is a b**h
Searchin' for purpose in the random universe s**s dick
Is it deterministic or am I free to choose my way?
Did I choose to not give a f** about ice cube trays?
If I want ice, I'll go to the f**in' corner store and buy a bag
Fillin' you up and waitin' for the water to freeze is a motherf**in' drag
You know what? f** the word "f**," I don't need to use it
I'll replace it with the word "chainsaw" for this chorus
[Hook]
(I don't give a chainsaw)
About anything, chainsaw everyone and chainsaw everything
(I don't give a chainsaw)
I literally don't give a chainsaw 'bout anything
[Bridge]
If there were a contest to see who doesn't give a f** the most
I wouldn't win cause I don't give a f** about winnin', yo
And don't even give a f** about not givin' a f**
So I do give a f** — wait, what?
[Hook]
(I give a f**)
About everything, I love everyone and care about everything
(I give a f**)
I literally care about every motherf**in' thing