If I were a farmer, I'd live in Oklahoma, I'd have a million cows, a unibrow, and some overalls to boot. If I were a painter, I'd live in New York city, I'd paint something real pretty, city life, I'd wear a second hand brown suit, If I we're a waiter, I'd carry mashed potatoes, And a big old steak out to the guy who's sitting in the booth If I was in the FBI, I would help the world fight crime, a walkie talkie, A secret op e-ven a wiretappin dude But I'm just a normal guy, with a light in my eye, In love with a world that is so alive. Isn't it scary, how everythings a mystery Happy, sad, confused, whats the meaning of life? If I were a, politician, I'd follow the tradition,
And I cheat and lie, but it's all right, hey that ain't nothing new. If I drove a taxi cab, I would run up all the tabs, Just to save some dough, that I could blow on cigarettes and booze. If I were the devil, I'd cause alot of trouble, Hey, I'd come to earth, and go to church, and sit right in a pew. If I was a criminal, living in prison cell, wouldn't drop my soap, that's on A rope, near Bubba and his crew. If I were a nudist, that would be the coolest. I'd stand in line at the five and dime in nothing but my shoes. If I were a CEO, I'd have a lot of cash to blow, I'd buy inside tips on wall st and let Martha Stewart know