Twenty-Fourteen, what a year
Let's reminisce and raise a gla**
Here's to priceless memories
Like me and my colossal a**!
The rise of ISIS caused a crisis
Russia made big power play
We ma**acred the Democrats
But who needs Congress anyway?
Ferguson blazed up with rage
We trembled as Ebola spread
We smoked some legal reefer
And we dumped ice buckets on our heads!
On birth control, we all said no!
We canceled every Cosby Show!
In 2014, Leno left
I said "Goodbye, Colbert Report!"
I was all about that ba**
I wasn't famous anymore
Scandal rocked the NFL
We tied the knot; we called it quits
Justin Bieber got arrested
Jay Z had his greatest hits!
Outer space was cool and trendy
Someone hacked our private nudes!
Pharell was happy, Al was Weird
And Marvel's Thor was growing b**bs!
We said "So long, it's sad we're gone"
But my poetry's forever!
And our comedy lives on!
Everybody!
World Cup soccer, Anaconda,
iPhone 6, Malaysia Air
Potato salad, Gamergate, and data breaches everywhere!
More and more, the list goes on
The year was crazy as could be
Let's all rejoice in saying:
2014, You Are History!