afraid to say
"i'd like it very much if….
you'd stay and …..
lose sleep with me tonight”
not my misery needing company….
it is
just me ….
i might,
not feel lonely on most days…..
but tonight reminds me of Summer.
reminds me that i have
and am not
a kid now,
and that i am missing a brother.
go to call a sister…
his name is right with hers,
i haven't deleted his number.
i don't want to tell you all that he meant to me…
and have you say how you wish you'd met him .
i don't want to cry
and confess
“ now i feel….
as time pa**es by
i'll forget him “
and you look at me like
“I wish I could help”
but your father was there
and you've always had help
and your brother's still calling
and you've always been dealt
with
aces
and
high hands
and
silver
f**ing
platters
the audacity
the nerve
to ask me
“whats the matter?”
and if i were really
in the mood to discuss….
i would tell you how i
never felt like enough
how i was the ugly one
hated the mirror
and took lots of pills that one night
trynna k** her
if i had the energy
i'd tell you the truth
that i haven't been happy
since I was in school
like, elementary
even then…
sh** was crazy
i was the youngest
but the toughest
i was never the baby
so i don't want your pity
or your words
or advice
i'd just like it very much if
you lost sleep with me
tonight