[Verse 1: Jesse and Brendan]
I'm despising all their eyes upon your body
Those capricious monsters need somewhere to dwell
I remember all your curves just like a monument
But I'm wondering if they all do as well
[Chorus: Jesse and Brendan]
I hate vampires, in my head
(I hate vampires!)
I hate vampires, in your bed
[Verse 2: Brendan]
They'll feast upon your blood just like Lugosi
The biting and the scratches leave their marks
A hand upon your back will get me spitting fire and cooking garlic
They only target young and pure of heart
And you're both
[Chorus: Jesse and Brendan]
I hate vampires, in my head
(I hate vampires!)
I hate vampires, in your bed
[Spoken: Brendan]
Get your garlic now!
[Spoken: Jesse]
Get your crossbows, get your wooden stakes
Don't leave anyone behind!
Save everyone you know
And above all: save yourself!
[Outro: Brendan and Jesse]
Everybody's out to get me!
Everybody's out to get me
Get your garlic now