[BARNUM]
There is a su*ker born every minute
Each time the second hand sweeps to the top
Like dandelions up they pop
Their ears so big, their eyes so wide
And though I feed 'em bonafide baloney
With no truth in it
Why you can bet I'll find some rube to buy my corn
'Cause there's a sure-as-shooting su*ker born a minute
And I'm referrin' to the minute you was born
Each blessed hour brings sixty of 'em
Each time the wooden cuckoo shows his face
Another su*ker takes his place
To plunk his quarter on the line
And buy my brand of genuine malarkey
God bless and love 'em!
But don't feel sad or hoppin' mad or cause a scene
'Cause there's a sure-as-shooting su*ker born a minute
But Ma'am you mighta been the minute in between
If I allow that right here in my hand
The smallest living human man
The sight of that is surely worth a dime
If I present an educated pooch
Who's trained to dance the hoochie cooch
What better way to waste a bit of time
If I imported monumental cost
A lady, fair, who's head was lost
While crossing railroad tracks to pick some zinnias
Who eats farina through a hose
And wears pink tights instead of clothes
If that ain't worth a buck my name ain't Jennie-as
Aw you say that's hogwash, well who cares
You'll buy my hogwash long as there's
A su*ker born every minute
Each time that second hand sweeps to the top
Like dandelions up they pop
Their ears so big, their eyes so wide
And though my tale is bonafide baloney
Just let me spin it
And ain't no man who can resist me, wait and see
'Cause there's a sure-as-shooting su*ker born a minute
And friends the biggest one, excluding none, is me!