[Verse 1]
I'm feeling numb
Thinking of changing my name to Crystal Meth
Playing this game
Holding my mic like a pistol
Aiming at d**h
But I love nobody
Alone in this world that's how I came in it
But sh** could flash and reverse the same in a minute
I don't even love life no more
My n***as, I just live it
And I don't love love
All the hurting is infinite
I cry myself to sleep sometimes
Wept a gallon of tears
From malice, divorced mates to lost peers
Drowning in a haze of smoke and gla**es that never ran empty
Bottles of So-Co
Cheap vodka and twenty; twenty
Spending my pennies for thoughts
On quarts of henneything
Got none pain like the movie have plenty
Like a shotgun, double barrel fully loaded ready to blow
I wanna turn around and aim at myself
Been failing my health
I hardly even eat no more
My lunch is munchies from the corner store
Tropical fantasy
Me and my family
Me and my n***as used to be tight
And now we see each other on the block with no pounds
And keep it moving you gotta move on
I know I'm doing it right
I'm still living hustling life, still here [Hook]
For all my n***as that smoke a pack a day
For all my n***as hold the bottle drink the pain away
What type of life is this
For all my n***as that getting the cash
And all my n***as that chill on the av
Lets keep living
For all my n***as drink the pain away
For all my n***as smoke a pack of Newports a day
What type of life is this
For all my n***as that getting the cash
And all my n***as that chill on the av
Lets keep living [Verse 2]
Grew up as a child of an alcoholic
Sister to schizophrenic
And already inherited one and they both are genetic
When sun falls I gets no sleep
Nights are filled with party and bullsh**
Bacardi and full clips
Just to deal with it
Got a full heart
But don't feel with it no more
I have fury of woman who's scorned
Just live my life like the X-Files and trust nobody
Forgetting everyone
Now I'm just forgetting the money
Funny how sh** can change and switch up fragile to rip on you
Spent too much of my young life just trying to stitch sh** up
I'm living day-by-day now
Every step is play by play hand to mouth
I'm just trying to make the moments count
Eyes weak stressing my soul
Chest roll from a heavy smoking addict since nine
A nicotine addict
Devoted at it but still
I need some kinda relief
I quit the trees at least
I'm learning, n***as but I'm slow at it
Always give my motherf**ers the benefit of the doubt
But it seems that everybody is just out for self
I used to love her
But now I gotta make her work for my wealth
I gotta eat y'all [Hook]