I don't want to live my life,
from the outside looking in,
through a camera phone lens.
Surely, that makes no sense.
How can you enjoy yourself,
if you're always auditioning,
for an online fashion parade;
a ghastly, grinning, gerning cavalcade?
Push your friends together,
and all adopt a gla**y smile.
Click and send, so everyone,
knows you're having all this fun.
We don't go to parties anymore,
we go to huge non-paid photo-shoots.
So, everyone can advertise,
their impressive, exciting, happy lives.
When did we get stuck,
in this whole vain mindset;
pimping our moments on the internet?
"Movie of me,"
a timeline for all to see;
compile your own documentary.
Even I know—
and I've a great big fat ego—
I'm not the star of a reality show.
I'm no-one,
you're no-one,
they're no-one.
So, now, please everyone,
let's just get over ourselves…
…and turn those f**ing things off.
If you're watching movies or a band,
why can no-one concentrate?
It's not so hard,
unless you're eight.
Couples now in restaurants,
face-to-face, just tapping away,
inches from each other.
Why'd they even bother?
Good God,
it's so odd.
Can't they go sixty secs,
without reading or sending texts?
These things,
aren't moving the human race on.
They're turning,
us into navel-gazing morons.
I'm frightened for our children.
One day I may simply give way,
and log onto say something inane.
Take forever,
try to be clever,
type whatever,
something like this:
"I'm sitting down," or…
"I just saw Will Smith murder a tramp."
"Yes, I'm drowning myself."
"One of my eyes is a clock."