[Violent J] "Hey, it's Christmas. It's Christmas in Detroit, we got a special Christmas treat. We got Mike Clark on this sh**, he's finna rap And we got Fink from the eastside. Oh, and we also got 2 Dope." [Shaggy 2 Dope] It's the holiday season, snow on the ground Candy canes, cookies sprinkle the town Everyone's jolly, happy, and merry The dead sing carols in the cemetery I went up to the mall to meet a Santa Claus "Why you wanna meet the Santa Claus?" Just because he's a star and I wanna get his autograph "Did you meet the fat ba*tard?" You don't know the half So I'm waitin in the line with my pad and pen I finally got up to the b**h and he had a grin He said that he watches me and I'm a disgrace So I reach for the nine and shot him in his spine All the kiddies runnin, screamin and cryin Santa ain't breathin, I think that he's dying He's trying to move so I boot him in his grill Ahh, b**h should've known about the Santa Claus k**a Chorus: Santa Claus I'm comin, I'm comin, I'm comin The Santa Claus k**az (4x) [Mike E. Clark] I'm a Santa Claus k**a b**h what the f** you know about? You knowin nothin So f** turkey and stuffing! I drink a straight forty f** that sh**ty eggnog Cause I'm a wicked clown down straight freak dog I gets paid, I'm picking up the G sh** And Santa Claus ain't never brought me sh** The fat slop doesn't buy my bread and milk So don't come around b**h and get your cap peeled I'm Mike Clark I'm creeping through Clark Park In a 1981 Sky Lark And it's dusted, dented and rusted Don't look or get your lips busted Santa Claus won't bring me a BM
So I'm gonna choke that b**h when I see him MC Detroit Big Wheeler But on Christmas Eve I'm a Santa Claus k**a "Oh, I'm so lonely around Christmas, I miss Santa Claus He won't come to my house, I wonder if he's scared But that's okay, because if he won't come to me, I'll come to him Santa I'm coming to see you. Merry Christmas." [Fink the Eastside G] It's Christmas Eve Another time to deceive Got another trick up my sleeve He won't leave I just wait tick tock ticky Somebody tell me where the f** is Saint Nickie Nick, you prick, you north pole hick b**h a** sap, what the f** is that? (huh) Sounds like Rudolph and the whole clique (It's time for some down with the clown G sh**) I hear the fat b**h in the chimney Spark up the matches Fire catches And I burnt that MOTHAfu*kA UP "Ho, ho.. wha.. wha.. what the f**!" Cook his a** with a crackling sound Watch as the ash comes juggling down I smoke them bones and I get much illa Fink the Eastside G The Santa Claus k**a Chorus [Violent J] One last murder, I gets deadly Sit back children, check the medley It's cold out, I could give a f** less Cause I'm waitin on a b**h in a red dress A fat b**h with a big white beard Strapped with a big lead pipe I'm geared I hear bells, jing-a-ling-ding, jing-ting-ling-ding-a-ling That's the sound, the dead man hear The dead man hear when d**h is near I'm like Damn! Take my pipe and say f** it Whip and lug it Straight to the nugget Out cold in a flash, a dash Then I pushed his a** off the ROOF and straight jacked the sleigh ha! The ghetto's payday from the Santa Claus k**a Chorus