Spoken: Music is a way of expressing myself, that I can still be a shy person. Even though you're on stage acting out. I think I'm shy. Yeah
Verse 1
Dim the lights turn up the tunes lets set a mood
Girl, I know you're feeling lonely your friends disappeared with their dudes
You're the last one left, you can't find a date
You feel deep down inside it's because of your weight
You might be packing the pounds, but that's okay with me
Ive seen bigger girls on Tinder, but your face is oh so pretty
So, if you don't mind and if I'm not being too much
I'd like to buy you breakfast, then brunch, and lunch
A girl like you is like the food that you eat
An extra value meal from your chins to your feet
I'm not a chubby chaser, I'm just speaking honestly
Why should I milk the cow when I can f** that cow for free?
I will give my all to you, unless you tell me to stop
You and i have a lot in common: small tits and a muffin top
Just stay as you are. Don't ever lose the weight
bu*t the size of Texas, belly as big as 50 states
Chorus
Don't go changing to try and please me
You never let me down before. MMmm
I just want someone, that I can talk to
I take you just the way you are
Verse 2
Your guts looking rugged in that Bon Jovi tee
If I had to guess what size it was I'd say double X times three
I don't want you to change. I like your thick thighs
Exposing both of your cankles, while I stare into your lazy eyes
I'm drunk as f** sitting at the bar since happy hour
It's been 3 long days since my body's seen a shower
I'm not much to look at, but I can make you laugh
Besides I'd like to see those jeans removed from your a**
Start with my hands then peel 'em off with my teeth
I got you missionary, then we'll f** while you eat
Burgers and fries, ketchup dipping on your back
Three course meals and f**ing in-between snacks
Girl stay chunky! Alway stay delicious!
You're the lord of my onion rings and also my precious
Your back is hairy, my a** looks like Ewok's
I've got so many pubes in my underwear, there's more hair than co*k
Chorus
Don't go changing to try and please me
You never let me down before. MMmm
I just want someone, that I can talk to
I take you just the way you are
Spoken: Okay, now. I always told myself I was going to tell you this if I met you. So, here I go. I said I want you to know I wouldn't be the person I am today. I wouldn't be doing what I'm doing today. You probably saved my life by doing what you do, what you did
First name Illy, last name Joel