My mind's a kaleidoscope, it thinks too fast
Blurs all the colors 'til I can't see past
The last mistake, the choice I made
Staring in the mirror with myself to blame
Sometimes I'm afraid of the thoughts inside
Nowhere to hide inside my mind
I'm scared that you'll compare and I'll look a lifetime past repair
I second guess myself to d**h, I re-solicit every step
What if my words are meaningless? What if my heart's misleading this?
I try to capture every moment as it comes to me
Bottle up the memories and let them keep me company
When the hope of morning starts to fade in me
I don't dare let darkness have its way with me
And the hope of morning makes me worth the fight
I will not be giving in tonight
When I'm old and grey, or thirty, or whatever happens first,
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I'll need you to rea**ure me I didn't waste a verse
Or worse, what if my life's work is reduced to just myself
Like never let you get a word in, while I dissect my mental health
Or lack thereof, whatever, there's too many things to track
I really can't remember if I'm insane or insomniac
Now days, all the kids want crazy, wanna diagnose themselves
Trade up made up epidemics, pa** around prescription pills
But my disorder can't be cured by a bottle, blade, or dose
Self-disgust and selfishness tend to hold me awfully close
But I don't wanna let you see that, I don't want my friends to know
Self-disgust and selfishness take me everywhere I go
When the hope of morning starts to fade in me
I don't dare let darkness have its way with me
And the hope of morning makes me worth the fight
I will not be giving in tonight
Try as I might to keep it together
Why is recovery taking forever
Fool the whole world, just until I get better
I'm terrified I'll be faking forever
On and on I wonder what went wrong inside my head
I don't have to have the answers, but tonight I wish I did
All the pain I can't explain away won't fade
All the the secrets silenced by the shame
Don't make me say it [x7]
When the hope of morning starts to fade in me
I don't dare let darkness have its way with me
And the hope of morning makes me worth the fight
I will not be giving in tonight