[Verse 1: Sarcastic spoken: Auto-tune]
Ah, yeah, this is my year baby
I feel like a real rapper now, like big leagues, man
Talk about Ciroc, what rhymes with ciroc?
(Michael clean up your room!)
co*k, co*k
(Clean up your room your baseball cleats are all over the floor)
Mom, I'm recording for the studs, stud-stud Friday (go be a stud later)
Uh, I f**ing hate my mom
Yeah, I got my eyes on you
I think you're almost fifteen
I wanna motorboat on that tushie
Ciroc's on me, I'll buy it all for you
But please don't show me I.D
I'm almost 28 but I'm thirsty
For frat parties
'Cause we're in Rhode Island you know it (Rhode Island)
My fans are all in little league teams (little league)
'Cause we're in Rhode Island and you know it
Jon Kilmer auto-tuned it for me
Just hold on we're jacking flows
Just hold on we're jacking flows
It's hard to be original
Just hold on I'm jacking off
(Michael did you clean up your room?)
Mom, I will get to it, this is an original creation
I am a f**in'...I'm not a f**boy
I'm not a f**boy, ok?
I f** boys, but I'm not a f**boy
(laughing) let's go
[Interlude: Spoken regular]
Dude, I really didn't want to do this
I've never seen somebody get so offended by one line
This dude still thinks he's in high school and I think he's 26
You ever see back to the future?
I'm Marty McFly, and that makes you Biff
I apologize for any shared fans but I have to ruin his career
So you can just listen to me later, alright
[Verse 2]
Ayo, Mike Stud, white scrub
Thought you made a nice one
Coming after me? Well where the f** do you get advice from?
We could start a fight club I'll be Tyler Durden
Murder every rapper talking especially ones you ain't heard of
Conflicted (why) 'Cause I've given into this dipsh**
Who's just a carbon copy of everyone in this business
I'm playing sold out shows, you ain't playing with no hoes
Unless you count your f**in' crew because all them dudes is b**hes
Look at your statistics, you ain't selling tickets
Excuse me but have you heard of Mike Stud? Crickets
For a strong dude you make some f**in' weak sh**
Hooking up with underage girls, homie that's creep sh**
If my girl's a five, your girl's non-existent
The only way you'll get a full ride is hopping on this dick
Which you do, and that's just a mistake
You were an athlete at Duke you should be used to getting raped
Touring must be boring when your fans only react to popular 90's covers and never heard of your tracks
It's like "We came here to dance, do molly and see b**bies"
That's why the only ones at your shows are male groupies
And I'mma dork, yea I'mma Ivy League graduate
Well at least I didn't start rapping on accident
Make your fans disappear like a f**ing magic trick
If my careers a dick, you'd be the only one that's grabbing it
You're less than average, and I ain't talking batting
When you try to swing at me I'll f**ing show you what a challenge is
You're defenseless, let me finish your sentence
"It's Mike Stud homie, sports reference"
[Interlude: Spoken Regular]
(Sports reference
sh** is honestly so predictable
You're the lowest hanging fruit
Do you even know what that means?
Ugh, Nevermind)