You know they got a medicine that you'll want to take
Every time that you experience an ache
They got a pill that'll do you very good
Or at least it's possible that it could
So if you're feelin' quite unsteady
Be sure to have your insurance card ready
But possible side effects may include
Melting into a bucket of glue
If you got problems I got a molecule for you
Something to tell your stupid body what to do
I have a mixture with chemicals rife
To help you unlock the great promises of life
Consult your physician today
Then go directly to the kitchen to eat bu*ter and cakes
Zosin and losin, mycin and pril
If they can't fix you it's likely nothing will
Epam and olam, sartan and sone
Then you can go enjoy an ice cream cone
Now I have a mixture with chemicals rife
To help you unlock the great promise of life
But possible side effects may include
Melting into a bucket of rabbit stew