[Singers:]
Here is the tale of a babysitting job,
The baby is something of a snob, [Stewie:]
Oh, go f** yourselves [Singers:]
So listen very closely, and you'll find
That what they say is not the same as what's on their minds [Haylie:]
Aren't you a cute little boy [Haylie's Thoughts:]
Look at that melon shaped head [Stewie:]
Having you here is a joy [Stewie's Thoughts:]
And in an hour you'll be dead [Haylie:]
Sit on my knee [Haylie's Thoughts:]
Please don't go poo [Stewie:]
Nice place to be [Stewie's Thoughts:]
This one's for you [Both:]
Babysitting is a bum deal [Haylie:]
Why don't we watch Will & Grace [Thought:]
Jesus, do I need a smoke [Stewie:]
Jack puts a smile on my face [Thought:]
Oh, what a surprise, a gay joke [Haylie:]
I like your house [Thought:]
The ceiling has cracks [Stewie:]
I like your blouse [Thought:]
Miss TJ Maxx [Both:]
Babysitting is a bum deal [Singers:]
So they sat as time went by [Haylie:]
Slowly as time could go [Singers:]
The baby blarred, and softly cursed [Stewie:]
Cause her lips, and her skirt, and her shoes,
And her hair made her look like a hoe [Haylie:]
Time for your bottle my sweet [Thought:]
This little brat smells like piss [Stewie:]
Alway's a succulent treat [Thought:]
While I s** that, you s** this [Haylie:]
Aren't you a sight [Thought:]
Look at him drool [Stewie:]
You're a delight [Thought:]
Damn you, you fool [Both:]
Babysitting is a bum deal [Singers:]
The diaper change was quite a job [Haylie:]
The grossest I've ever seen [Singers:]
The baby smiled and took a breath [Stewie:]
And I grunted and pooped out a poop,
That looked something like Matthew Modine [Haylie:]
Someday you might meet a girl [Thought:]
Yeah, she's gonna be your right hand [Stewie:]
Maybe it's you my sweet pearl [Thought:]
Darling, I'd rather f** sand [Haylie:]
Have a good night [Thought:]
You little creep [Stewie:]
Have a good night [Thought:]
Die in your sleep [Both:]
Babysitting is a bum deal
Babysitting is a bum deal