Behold the self-proclaimed image of god - charter of the earth and sea, civilizer of the wild, courter of the heavens, territorial pisser of the lunar surface. Humanity - the unique superlative. By all accounts scientific, artistic, and theological, I have transcended the cla**ification "animal." This brain allows these opposable thumbs to shape the globe like putty. I am the lion tamer of the known. Call it nobility, call it stick-to-itiveness, I am the heir of an age-old collective consciousness. But, not unlike the feline at my throat, my life choices remain overwhelmingly dictated by that primal need to fertilize eggs. To call me a great ape would be more factual than derogatory. A distant ball of plasma and magnetic fields sustain me. I feed off the excrement of worms. Strip me of my tools and companions and reveal a frightened child to this world. Behold the infant upon his throne