Hey my name's Wheatley; I'm a brilliant little core! I didn't know what to expect when I opened up that door! I showed her where the gun was; she progressed like a pro! Such a good jumper too... (Trust me, I know!) When we found GLaDOS, I kinda woke her up! She wasn't happy, nooo... she crushed me like a cup! Found a great big bird; it put me on my rail! When I found Chell again, I tried to tell her the tale! (But!) That little moron couldn't handle it! He gained some power and lost his sh**! He turned GLaDOS into a potato-chip! And now he's banished into space, without a ship! We went behind the scenes to try and escape! She tried to crush us again: got through without a scrape! Destroyed her neurotoxin and replaced all the turrets! Turns out they're pretty useless without any bullets! We made it to her chamber; I was ready to insert! Then Chell pressed the bu*ton...oooh, man that hurt! I did lose control, I'll be the first to admit... I even punched Chell down a deadly pit... That little moron couldn't handle it!
He gained some power and lost his sh**! He turned GLaDOS into a potato-chip! And now he's banished into space, without a ship! With GLaDOS out the picture, I could call the shots! Did a little digging and came across the bots! Had a real bad itch and needed to do some tests! But first I had to deal with those troublesome pests! Chell and the potato, made it to my lair! I only tried to help them; it just wasn't fair! Then Chell shot a portal on to the moon! And it s**ed us out like a big typhoon! That little moron couldn't handle it! He gained some power and lost his sh**! He turned GLaDOS into a potato-chip! And now he's banished into space, without a ship! Spaaaaace! Spaaaaaaaaaaaace! Spaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaace! Space! Space! Space! Space! Space! Space! Space! [x4] That little moron couldn't handle it! He gained some power and lost his sh**! He turned GLaDOS into a potato-chip! And now he's banished into space, without a ship!