I didn't think it was for real
Or it could be such a big deal
That this hunk of silicon could save my life
But now I've seen what it can do
And after all that we've been through
I had to write a song all about why
It can do anything
It can even help me sing
And, yes, it helped me find my soul mate
It can be a light saber
Or help me find out if my neighbor
Is a registered s** offender in my state
Been bitten by a vampire bat?
Well, there's an app for that
Been deployed into heavy combat?
Well, there's an app for that!
In a fight with Ya**er Arafat?
Well there's an app for that
Have you heard about my phone
My phone's so sweet
My phone owns your phone
It makes my life complete
One thing you gotta understand
My phone it holds my hand and
I don't think you could comprehend how
I don't even need a girlfriend now
'Cause my phone does everything
If I put it in my pants
Suddenly, I can dance
And the ladies flock to me on the dance floor
And the one that I take home
Invariably loves my phone
Too bad there's not an app for birth control
Are you bored at the laundromat?
Well there's an app for that
Been feeling like you're getting fat?
Well there's an app for that
Forgetting when to feed your cat?
There's an app for that
Have you heard about my phone
My phone's so sweet
My phone owns your phone
It makes my life complete
One thing you gotta understand
My phone it holds my hand and
I don't think you could comprehend how
I don't even need a girlfriend now
'Cause my phone does everything
My finance application
Says I deserve a vacation
And it solved the economy in Greece
Stevie jobs knows what he's doin
In my opinion he's a shoe-in
For this year's Nobel prize for peace
You learning how to knit a hat?
Well there's an app for that
Your wife just gave birth to a cat?
There's probably an app for that
You want to call your mom and chat?
Well, actually service is pretty spotty out here, so I'll
I'll just call her when I get into town...
Have you heard about my phone
My phone's so sweet
My phone owns your phone
It makes my life complete
One thing you gotta understand
My phone it holds my hand and
I don't think you could comprehend how
I don't even need a girlfriend now
'Cause my phone does everything
And yes, I mean everything