You may have to rescue me From limestone quarries frequently Those corporate stunt shows you attend You'll never get asked back again Say! Hello spinal curvature Get used to the mirthless furniture Now we've kissed I've written this list I thought you ought to know Them's the vagaries Them's the vagaries Them's the vagaries Them's the vagaries Them's the vagaries Them's the vagaries Well I'll not sit backwards on the train I can't say I'll always flush the chain And what I call pleasure you may call pain I'm talking five-day tests Prepare to lose your dignity As I ride to victory Down the aisles at Tesco Wearing nothing much at all Ancient pack-horse bridges we'll avoid
Marijuana bores must be destroyed Bin men thin men lexicographers Squid yes, not so octopus Egg sandwiches on coach trips in June I simply won't be there No way joke shop excrement Don't say the light show's excellent It makes you smell of the laboratory instead of a Fan of the band Them's the vagaries… Oh Brit Pop, turquoise, chips with apricot Sheepskin nose-band, kids in Aldershot You point to finches in my yard and you ask: What's them things there? Them's the aviaries Them's the aviaries Them's the aviaries Them's the aviaries And I've been saving these Things just for you For you For you For you