Here's a story about a boy named Jerry:
Got slaughtered then got real leery.
In the pub he acted absurd
Then came home to a boxer's bird.
So he got knocked out,
Faced swelled up like a rainbow trout.
His girl found out the truth,
But he couldn't explain 'cause he'd lost a tooth!
I wanna drink, drink, drink
Smoke, f**, fight
I wanna shout and scream
I wanna die
I wanna be arrested,
I wanna be molested.
Oh, my head's in pain,
Next weekend let's do it again!
An anecdote about a man named Clive:
Wasn't one to usually drink drive,
But after all he'd been for a snack
And so it was a bit too far to walk back.
A month later and he's sitting in court,
For the two lives he cut short.
Manslaughter he's convicted
For the pain that he inflicted.
Spinning! My head is spinning,
Up, around, around and
Down to the pub, up to the club!
My stomach's turning,
Oh, my body's burning.
Our liquid lives, this is how we all survive.
Here's a story about a chap named Garf:
Drank four pints in a hour 'n' a half.
Though the night had just begun
Because his local pub's open 'till one.
The next morning out in the country,
Hung over and on a hunt he
Was still drunk and he pissed himself;
Fell off his horse and shot himself!
Spinning! My head is spinning,
Up, around, around and
Down to the pub, up to the club!
My stomach's turning,
Oh, my body's burning.
Our liquid lives, this is how we all survive.
Have a drink, have a drink, have a drink…
Our liquid lives! (x 8)
Drink! Smoke! f**! Fight!
Our liquid lives!
Our liquid lives!
This is how we all survive!
Here's a story about a girl named Kate:
Got wasted and got date raped.
When they'd told the doctors she'd seen,
They found no chemicals in her bloodstream.
Well, nothing malicious
But the alcohol level was suspicious.
When asked who'd hurt her
Poor old Kate couldn't remember!
Spinning! My head is spinning,
Up, around, around and
Down to the pub, up to the club!
My stomach's turning,
Oh, my body's burning.
Our liquid lives, this is how we all survive.
Drink! Smoke! f**! Fight!
Our liquid lives!
Our liquid lives!
This is how we all survive!