[Intro, Jared and Jackson talking over each other] Real cool Yeah What's up, [?] Doing it! I'm the lead singer man! Yeah [rap: Jackson] I was pushing a mop and a bucket, making a tax-free coin For track shoes, vacuum bags, and sirloin [?] I made a couple of pit stops, took a d**h trip Only my battery died, and [?] my hellride With a helicopter blade and a pontoon To boot, you can ride, but you cannot fly pro No, you cannot compute, do not pa** the gate I'll get your bra** sparkle band in the Bible Belt states Now expand and contract, I'll put a hex on a blues cover band They got a washing machine for a frontman Try as he might, he couldn't hit a B-flat I'll hack your PC, I'll smash your TV Turn Andy Capp comic strips into 3D Walk in my shoes for a mile, you'll see There's [?] and they're real f**ing tight Yes [?] rock you in the place to be Grand Buffet, running a funnel cake sale for World War III Didn't make a profit in the [?] So I got bitten by a wolf and now I have to do an on-the-spot transfusion
The only guy that matched my blood type lost his life Inside a secret Super Mario water pipe So take a sip of that hard luck, [?] backwash Your arms are in that crossbow pose (Wrecking ball) I could squash the competition, with your service at my every beck and call Believe my impeccable taste, watch my [?] Put a**es in seats and [?] for deep space I'll steal your jet fuel, put sharks in your gene pool You want cash, you gotta take it to the street That's a boat duel You should take a ride in my car for an hour or more There's a copy of Cat Fancy in the pa**enger door [Break x2] Whoa! Those boys are mother effing rock-and-roll! [x3] Are you supposed to be some kind of monster? [rap: Jackson] I'll hack your PC, I'll smash your TV Turn Andy Capp comic strips into 3D I'll steal your jet fuel, sharks in your gene pool Lord Grunge, Grape-a-Don Real cool [spoken: Jared] Don't just be cool, be real cool