Things that go hump in the night
[Verse, rap: Jackson, background vox: Ultimate Donny]
Prepare to double date, tolerate pain
Evade formidable foes in portable games
I'm looking over the edge of a carnival ride
At the machine operator, clean cut and qualified (yeah)
Pathological tea cup jockey
Half my life, racking points up at air hockey
I emerge from a cloud of hickory smoke
To ride mechanical bulls at fictional watering holes (ha ha)
Golden ages, theirs for the taking
Old souls not yet content on vacating
Ice skating with wildlife watching
Figure eight turns, devoid of all caution (really?)
Pa**word pad fusion, f** raffle tickets
Chips are down natural habitat digits
I'll read 'em and weep while my snake bite swells
Cool cucumber bobbing my head to the d**h bells (ok)
[Chorus, sung: Ultimate Donny]
This one is for the clubs, we wanna turn you up
Put on your dancing shoes, let us reprogram you
Oh yeah!
[Verse, rap: Jackson, background vox: Ultimate Donny]
The tree vines broke, now the action's moving
Counter-clockwise down the local rockslide
Tastefully hog-tied, looking on the brightside
sh**-eating wide-toothed grin, ready to win (that's it)
Unlimited power, making fire with sticks
Eating wild plants, procuring water from hot piss
Bad soap paintings on cinema windows
Generation neon alien-head scarecrows
Billy Blanks bathwater energy drinks
I'd spend money on that, all the real emcees lip-sync (do they?)
I talk about stuff that never happened to me
The public demands it so I'm telling it accurately (demand)
God sent a mean hail storm my way
I counteracted with a dirty sack of diapers on his highway
When I die, I don't need a fancy pine box
Throw my body in the Buick, tune the radio to cla**ic rock (come on)
[Chorus, sung: Ultimate Donny]
This one is for the clubs, we wanna turn you up
Put on your dancing shoes, let us reprogram you
Someone's inside the house and all the lights are out
Something does not feel right, things that go hump in the night
Yeah
[Break, sung: Ultimate Donny]
Man, I got two hoes, and one of them is stupid
And the other is beautiful, I don't know
What I'm gonna do, do I tell the truth
Or do I stand before God and let everything
Ring and ring like the ding-a-ling clock is in my brain
Oh, the clock is in my brain!
Someone's inside the house and all the lights are out
Something does not feel right, things that go hump in the night
[x3]
Things that go hump in the night [x2]
[spoken]
This is Ultimate Donny, thanks