Eggsy
I seen that film, American Pie
Where a bloke f**ed the food, so I gave it a try
My technique was slightly off-key
It involved tinned meat and a pop celebrity
I wouldn't hurt her if I saw her on the street
But I wanna make a statue just of Kelly for me
You know, it all started way back when
Using spam to carve Boys II Men
I used bacon to make Rusty Lee
Kelly Osbourne, you're my meat fantasy
You're always there when I need to talk
And I love the way your fingers and your toes are made (from pork)
All
I made a corned beef Kelly Osbourne
And I f**ed it when I was watching p**n
I made a corned beef Kelly Osbourne
And I f**ed it when I was watching p**n
Maggot
Minimum content, 3% meat
I trimmed the fat off, it looked really neat
Made the torso and shaped the thighs
But I'm stuck, I've got nothing for the eyes
Billy
Fluid dripping like a running tap
When I warm my meat up and rub it on the lap
Xain
Making bacon with reformed ham
People pay money for this in Amsterdam
Mysty
Meat fantasies often give me the horn
But nothing like a corned beef Kelly Osbourne
You're divine, so s**y, so tasty
Like meat in a pie when I penetrate the pastry
Xain
This girl I was with had a vag like corned beef
It was all smashed up and I thought it had teeth
I thought kebab was on the main course
So I covered it in my own special garlic sauce
All
I made a corned beef Kelly Osbourne
And I f**ed it when I was watching p**n
I made a corned beef Kelly Osbourne
And I f**ed it when I was watching p**n
Xain
I f**ed a corned beef Kelly Osbourne
I f**ed a corned beef Kelly Osbourne
Y'know
Adam
Sit back kid, take a book outta my leaf
I love to f** a pile of sweaty sticky beef
Down Aldi's they're looking at me funny
Twelve tins of corned beef now it's a cunny
Ooh, I'm gonna f** you, right here, right now
Make a mess with my stiff, gonna show you how
Stick it in, watch the foreskin
Try to f** the tin, rip my banjo string
Cos you knows I wanna f** that prime fillet cut
With a bit of lippy dressed up like a s*ut
Getting down on the floor for a bit of screwing
'Til someone said "oi wa*ker, what you doing?"
Threw me out, I raised an objection
With corned beef still stuck to my erection
So what, f** 'em, I don't give a toss
I'm going home with a Fray Bentos
All
I made a corned beef Kelly Osbourne
And I f**ed it when I was watching p**n
I made a corned beef Kelly Osbourne
And I f**ed it when I was watching p**n
Mysty/Xain
Meat fantasies (meaty meaty meat)
Meat fantasies (meaty meaty meat)
Meat fantasies (meaty meaty meat)
Meat fantasies
Meat fantasies
Xain
Aaah, that's right, back with the rhythm
Like a Ginster's pasty covered in jism
Maggot
Meaty b**hes out on a binge
I'm going home with a corned beef minge
Billy
Shagging the meat, but I ain't mincing
Hiding my eyes to stop me gagging and wincing
At the smell of the rancid spammy clam
As a steak tenderiser goes "bam bam bam!"
Mike
Madame Tussauds you got nothing on me
I got my own meatworks laboratory
All Saints and Spice Girls and miss Zeta-Jones
All I want is the meat, don't care about the bones
Eggsy
I tried s** shops, I tried DVDs
It don't mean sh** compared to meats like these
Aspic jelly, and a coating of lard
These are the things that make my penis go hard
All
I made a corned beef Kelly Osbourne
And I f**ed it when I was watching p**n
I made a corned beef Kelly Osbourne
And I f**ed it when I was watching p**n
I made a corned beef Kelly Osbourne
And I f**ed it when I was watching p**n
I made a corned beef Kelly Osbourne
And I f**ed it when I was watching p**n
Xain
I f**ed a corned beef Kelly Osbourne
I f**ed a corned beef Kelly Osbourne
Y'knows